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Lets face it, we all get bummed out and depressed when things in life are not going so well. But this is why it is important to learn techniques on how to stay motivated when you feel like giving up. On this journey to wellness we have encountered many problems we all face daily and how we relate to them. We are even more bogged won than we think because we need to add yet another layer of sheepishness to our collective consciousness.
Why would we choose to immobilize ourselves with the life is not fair card? There are several reasons and most of these you would probably not like. I am going to list them and then give you a list of things you can do to break free of this pattern of behavior. If you live life according to right and wrong and what justice is supposed top be, you can feel happy that you remain honorable and better than those people who do not stay on the right side of the fence. Injustice in the world, which by the way will never go away can also be your scapegoat for why you do not want to change or work at it. You can also get pity, self-pity and attention if you continue to spread the message that you have been the victim and others will feel sorry for you instead of criticizing you for inaction.
In the same way you can also distract others from seeing just how ineffective, lazy and useless you are while wasting the time you got as a gift complaining about how unfair life seems to be. You can even justify cutting off someone on the highway just because they did exactly that to you.
According to Motivation Ping, you can manipulate others into believing that they have to treat you exactly the same way you would treat them in order to keep the scales of justice in balance. You will always get your way this way. You can also justify plain mean behavior by saying that tit for tat is just and if someone could hurt you you can do the same and should return the favor.
There are however many things you can do to avoid falling into this small minded trap of only loving when someone else loves you and hurting those that hurt you too because it only seems fair. Let's see what you can do to liberate yourself from this way of life and thus have some happiness at last.
The first thing you need to do is to let go of all the things that you think are unfair in life and the only way to do so is to build a list of all those things that could be more just or just does not make any sense. If this takes you a week, let it take you a week, but try to be as accurate and comprehensive as you can. After you have done this ask yourself if these things will disappear just because you feel hurt or upset by them? You will find that the answer is no. It is time to let them go then.
If you listen to motivational speakers, you will hear them talk about a concept about "changing some of your semantics". Change the sentence: "Would I do that to you?" to "You are different from me and even though I find this hard to deal with I understand that you will handle things differently". You will find that you feel less resentful and more loving towards your loved ones or colleagues.
Remember that you control your feeling and emotions so someone else cannot influence the way you feel by anything they do. If you forget this, repeat it to yourself like a mantra until you cannot forget the truth of it anymore.
Replace the words: "It isn't fair" with the words "I would prefer ...". You will find that you complain less and that you take responsibility for your feelings when you frame your thoughts this way. Stop comparing yourself to others and how unfair everything is. Look at yourself and your own achievements. I am sure you can find at least one other person who feels exactly the same way you do about others when they think about you.
If you are invited to dinner and have always brought a bottle of wine because you felt compelled to, don't do it the next time you are invited. Instead send a gift to your last host completely unexpectedly telling them how much you appreciate them after the party. This way you teach yourself that life is not all about balancing the scales of justice. In the same way you should forget about the petty revenge you sometimes exact on others. Life is not tit for tat and life is much better if you love others and yourself because you want to and not live life the way they want you to to keep you as unhappy as they are.
Why would we choose to immobilize ourselves with the life is not fair card? There are several reasons and most of these you would probably not like. I am going to list them and then give you a list of things you can do to break free of this pattern of behavior. If you live life according to right and wrong and what justice is supposed top be, you can feel happy that you remain honorable and better than those people who do not stay on the right side of the fence. Injustice in the world, which by the way will never go away can also be your scapegoat for why you do not want to change or work at it. You can also get pity, self-pity and attention if you continue to spread the message that you have been the victim and others will feel sorry for you instead of criticizing you for inaction.
In the same way you can also distract others from seeing just how ineffective, lazy and useless you are while wasting the time you got as a gift complaining about how unfair life seems to be. You can even justify cutting off someone on the highway just because they did exactly that to you.
According to Motivation Ping, you can manipulate others into believing that they have to treat you exactly the same way you would treat them in order to keep the scales of justice in balance. You will always get your way this way. You can also justify plain mean behavior by saying that tit for tat is just and if someone could hurt you you can do the same and should return the favor.
There are however many things you can do to avoid falling into this small minded trap of only loving when someone else loves you and hurting those that hurt you too because it only seems fair. Let's see what you can do to liberate yourself from this way of life and thus have some happiness at last.
The first thing you need to do is to let go of all the things that you think are unfair in life and the only way to do so is to build a list of all those things that could be more just or just does not make any sense. If this takes you a week, let it take you a week, but try to be as accurate and comprehensive as you can. After you have done this ask yourself if these things will disappear just because you feel hurt or upset by them? You will find that the answer is no. It is time to let them go then.
If you listen to motivational speakers, you will hear them talk about a concept about "changing some of your semantics". Change the sentence: "Would I do that to you?" to "You are different from me and even though I find this hard to deal with I understand that you will handle things differently". You will find that you feel less resentful and more loving towards your loved ones or colleagues.
Remember that you control your feeling and emotions so someone else cannot influence the way you feel by anything they do. If you forget this, repeat it to yourself like a mantra until you cannot forget the truth of it anymore.
Replace the words: "It isn't fair" with the words "I would prefer ...". You will find that you complain less and that you take responsibility for your feelings when you frame your thoughts this way. Stop comparing yourself to others and how unfair everything is. Look at yourself and your own achievements. I am sure you can find at least one other person who feels exactly the same way you do about others when they think about you.
If you are invited to dinner and have always brought a bottle of wine because you felt compelled to, don't do it the next time you are invited. Instead send a gift to your last host completely unexpectedly telling them how much you appreciate them after the party. This way you teach yourself that life is not all about balancing the scales of justice. In the same way you should forget about the petty revenge you sometimes exact on others. Life is not tit for tat and life is much better if you love others and yourself because you want to and not live life the way they want you to to keep you as unhappy as they are.
