completely off topic but need someone to talk to

[Cassie]

I just need to talk to someone and hoped some of the forum members on here would indulge me. If I am wrong Admin I am sure you will delete it. I really miss Kev Woodman - he always seemed to be on my wavelength.

I have just got home from the hospital where I was told I have possibly got thyroid cancer. It is being cut out next month just to be sure but am scared stiff. This has been hanging over me for over a month - I had the needle biopsy before Xmas.

Anyway - I don't want to be morbid and the main reasons was to have on record my promises to myself. If I have them in public view I am more likely to keep them.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life (corny I know) and I will get on with it.
I will get fit for the op and lose some weight.
I will stop worrying about being in hospital (I am a very, VERY private person who hates living with other people - except hubby and daughter).
I will stop worrying about money and spend some of my savings on a wonderful holiday after the op.

There are a couple more but they are a bit too personal - I think that having these where I can view them anytime will really help and hope you don't mind my indulgence.

[jon123]

I am so so sorry Cassie to hear about your illness. I really hope everything goes well with the op. I can't imagine what you and your family must be going though. Puts everything into perspective no doubt. I remember you were looking forward to your hols in Torquay after the new year...did you manage to go?

I totally agree with your comments about Kev, don't quite know what happened but sadly missed. Maybe we coud start a new thread and petition Kev to return, maybe he will pop in and see it!

[Cassie]

I did get to Torquay and enjoyed most of it but couldn't do as much as I wanted to - not because of the thyroid lump but because of the rumatisim in my hip.

The worry has been getting to me though and I think my family got it in the neck a bit (excuse the pun).

Kev left because of the comments by Admin in the deleted posts thread.

[jon123]

The worry has been getting to me though and I think my family got it in the neck a bit (excuse the pun).

Yes nearest and dearest as they say. My teenage son recovered from a life threatening illness last year and we bore the brunt of his worry, but mainly anger I think.

[Cassie]

Putting the list on here has already helped - I didn't want to go to the gym today but remembered the list on here and made myself go. I quite enjoy it when I get there - its just the effort of leaving my computer.

I had a cancer scare about 15 years ago and had the cell removed, luckily they were termed 'pre-cancerous' but never thought anything of it at the time.

This time I'm a lot older and much more scared - even if it is not cancer the op has some risks and it could mean losing some of my voice or it going husky.

Kev has been in touch and given me some comforting words - don't think he will be back on here though - miss him.

[paul]

So sad to hear about your illness Cassie, we wish you fast and full recovery, I watched many people fighting bravely cancer and came out. We hold you in our prayers Cassie.
I too miss Kev greatly, hope he will come back since we have developed very good friend network with similar interest people here in this forum, If anything made him upset, I apologize on behalf of our all team members.

[delboy]

I don't know you Cassie, but I don't think it matters if I know you or not, I'm sure, for your husband, daughter, and for yourself, you'll bravely pull yourself through this and come out on top, and in the long term it'll be alright. Just think positive and try, if you can, to carry out your lifestyle as you normally would.

In the meantime, milk it for all its worth, Tell everyone at home your really tired and it'd be really nice, if someone cooked your dinner for you, and it'd be really nice if someone else could tidy the house for a change. Thats a ploy, I recently pulled when I was badly ill with hepatitis Worked a treat tho.

[James]

I am so sorry to hear of your illness Cassie, hope everything will be well soon. Be confident and positive and the op will be successful. My prayers are with you and your family.

[byteme]

Life is a bit of a bugger, but my grandpa said god gives us what we can cope with.

A positive atitude works wonders both for mind and body and I know it is tough. With family in mind, it is also hard as you expect to be the tough one as a Mum and Wife.

Its OK to cry, jump up and down and boot the door, but in the end just know that there are people that need you and care for you.

The will to move mountains can be miraculous (moved a few in my time) both to you and others.

And the bright side, the sexy deep voice usually does a girl wonders! The flu over the xmas period made me sound like ertha kit so much so the message I left my Dad on his answer phone made him think his luck was in!

So Go forth and kick the world in the goolies and say sod it, In the game of life, COUNT ME IN!

Best wishes, let us know how it goes

[Cassie]

Thank you all for you good wishes and good advise. I am a strong willed person and believe my Gran is my Guardian Angel looking over me - for every bad thing that has happened to me there has always been something good.

It's nice to be able to talk about how I feel - it's difficult with the family - I don't want to upset them. Hope I'm not stepping over the line on this forum but I had grown to think of many of you as friends.

Originally Posted by delboy

In the meantime, milk it for all its worth, Tell everyone at home your really tired and it'd be really nice, if someone cooked your dinner for you, and it'd be really nice if someone else could tidy the house for a change. Thats a ploy, I recently pulled when I was badly ill with hepatitis Worked a treat tho.

Umm - I don't think that will work for me

Firstly - Hubby does the cooking and most of the cleaning anyway. I am the one who works 24/7 and remembers to pay the bills.

Secondly - I don't feel that ill - it does press on my windpipe at times which makes me feel yuk (especially the seatbelt when driving) but I guess the worry is the most debilitating thing.

But apart from that there are no sypmtoms except a big lump in my neck. It may have been there for months but a Nurse found it at my GP's while feeling my glands during a bad cold. It has grown quite a bit in the last 3 months since then.

[Cassie]

I would like to ask advise of forum members - as customers of websites and possibly owners of Internet companies.

As some of you know, I sell craft items via an Internet site. I do all the paperwork but have a couple of staff who pick orders etc.

While I am in hospital I don't think they will be able to manage the paperwork etc - I haven't written any of the system down and none of them are really that computer literate.

At the moment I have put a note in my customer forum stating that orders will be delayed for a few days (hopefully I should be back at work within a few days) and I will put a similar note in the shopping basket nearer the time.

My questions is, do you think I should tell customers why we are closed (i.e. a short hospital stay - no details !) so they understand it is unavoidable or do you think that sounds too much like an armature one-man-band business?

We have been at it for 8 years now and have grown a lot, but are not big business and don't really want to be - as long as I pay the bills and enjoy my job (and get a holiday in Torquay at New Year) then that is all I want out of it.

Anyway - look forward to your honest answers.

[Cassie]

I guess you have no opinions at the moment or the question was too hard

Anyway - update time.

Yesterday I got a phone call to say that there had been an emergency and they couldn't do my op on Monday. The next date was 28th Feb or tomorrow (ie today 14th - valentines day).

Well I really did not want to bring it forward to so soon - I had lots of things planned for the next few days to do with my family. And the website is all set up for the closure and I really couldn't let my customers down by closing earlier. However the 28th didn't really fill me with joy either - call me sentimental but that is the day my Gran died 8 years ago.

Anyway - I think the secretary who rang me understood how I felt and rang back later to say they had managed to move someone else who was happy to go in earlier and my op for Monday was still on. Not really sure how I feel !!

The lump is growing and pressing on my windpipe more so I will be glad to get it out, but I really, really hate hospitals.

I am hoping to be SO busy for the next 3 days that I probably won't get back on here before Monday - thanks for all your good wishes and I hope to be 'chatting' again soon next week.

[Cassie]

Hi I'm back part time - can't do much yet though.

It was the big C but luckily benign. My neck is really sore and I can't move my head much yet. But as my hairdresser says - what don't kill you makes you stronger !!

I look like I have been in a fight and my throat was cut - but most of the scaring is hidden by the rolls of fat

Anyway just thought I would touch base.

[jon123]

Hi Cassie, good to know it was benign and you are on the mend.
Welcome Back!

[Dan]

Welcome back Cassie!

Nice to see everything went well